I’m sorry for the graphic nature of this post. But I have a story to tell you.
We have a standing rule in the house that says “when mom is in the shower you don’t TOUCH or open the front door.” You would think this is a fairly obvious rule, but a few weeks ago we had an episode where the kids tried to invite some Jehovah’s Witnesses into the house while I was showering. Thank goodness I shower with the door open and the fan turned off so I can hear everything that goes on while I’m unavailable for 3 minutes a day. Thank goodness the JW’s had the sense to say “No thank you, we’ll come back when your mom isn’t in the shower.”
So today before getting in I made sure the front door was closed (which means it’s locked from the outside). I was just ready to get out when I heard the front door open and close a few times. I screeched for Buddy and it took 3 or 4 yells before he came running. I asked him if he had opened the front door. he said no. I asked him several more times and when he said no again I told him “If I go out there and the door is open you are going to be in really big trouble for lying to me. Are you telling me a lie?” He of course then said “Oh! I’ll go shut the door then.” Yes…he lied about it.
So while I’m getting out he says in an oh-by-the-way voice “Mom, I need you to wipe my butt.” I’m like “What?? Why do I need to wipe your butt?” (Since I know he didn’t use the potty while I was in the bathroom!) He then says that it’s because he went poop. When I asked him where he said “Outside.” Yes, outside. When I asked where outside he confessed that he went on my front steps. MY FRONT STEPS!!! Where approximately 37 neighbor houses can see! Never mind that he pooped on the brand new door mat I picked up last night.
What the heck was he thinking???
So I made him clean it up. Yes….HE had to use paper towels and a walmart bag to scoop it up. You know how he is…so he gagged, choked and retched the whole time. That was probably the best punishment ever actually. He hates anything that smells bad so he wont forget cleaning it up any time soon. Which, hopefully, means that he wont poop on my front steps again.
Do you wonder what I do all day while Little Miss Sassy Pants is at school? I simply TRY to keep up with Buddy.
(more photo fun. Click to see them larger 🙂